


Never a Dull Moment

by georgiamagnolia



Series: SIN-SPIRATION [3]
Category: Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen, Mission Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiamagnolia/pseuds/georgiamagnolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One man's party is another man's chore.</p><p>~sweet duty, she never dwells in a lazy heart.~ Carmina Burana</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never a Dull Moment

“Are you kidding me?”

“I am not, would I kid about such a thing?”

“No, of course not.”

“See you at eight.”

There was no answer other than an unhappy sounding sigh. How his partner could infuse such an innocuous sound with so much attitude was a mystery to him, and yet he always understood the subtext. He suppressed a grin.

***

Eight o’clock sharp found Illya and Napoleon approaching the consulate of some very small nation and dressed in their best tuxedos, the ones provided by their employer for just such occasions and tailored to hide their side arms. After showing their invitations at the door, they were allowed into the luxurious front hall where people were gathered in small groups, glittering with jewels and chattering in clusters of somber black tuxedos and bright dresses.

“Is it the idleness of all these rich party attendees that offends your Communist soul, partner mine, or the fact that we’ve had to attend six of these gatherings in the last two weeks?” The smile in Napoleon’s voice was unmistakable, his voice low so as to not be overheard.

“I have never said that any of this offends me, Napoleon, nor that my soul was Communist. I happened to have had plans tonight,” Illya’s voice was equally quiet, causing Napoleon to lean toward him slightly to hear over the horsey laugh of a nearby party guest. Napoleon raised a brow.

“I’m sorry Illya. Mr. Waverly…”

“Said to go and do,” Illya interrupted, “it is our sworn duty after all, Napoleon. Shall we get on with this?”

“I have a good feeling about this one.”

“You said that the last two times.”

“Three’s a charm?” Napoleon smiled, the charming one he used for convincing innocents to help them with an affair or one of the girls at work that his rain check on a date delayed due to a mission would be worth the wait. Illya was having none of it and merely rolled his eyes.

***

“Are you kidding me?”

“Of course not, would I kid about such things?”

“Illya, what did you do?”

“I merely allowed the man to try his own creation, or rather that of his employer. According to the instructions he so conveniently had in his pocket, he should be awake in about twelve hours. Plenty of time for us to get him set up in a cell at headquarters and still get a good night’s sleep ourselves. And did I mention that I kept him from trying the gas on the reception upstairs?”

“That’s just fine for this one, but the one I caught didn’t have any sleeping gas on him. I’m pretty sure that he won’t be knocked out for half a day.”

“There’s more than one dose in his canister.”

“Illya, are you suggesting…”

“Of course not, Napoleon. I am saying it straight out, we dose the guy and have a night to ourselves.”

“Or we can leave the interrogation to the other team, they already have one THRUSH in custody.”

“Well, yes, we can do that as well,” Illya almost smiled. “It just won’t be as entertaining.”

“I think letting Baker have the interrogation is plenty enough slacking off for one night, don’t you?”

“Perhaps.”

***

Illya and Napoleon gave their THRUSH charges over to the security detail at UNCLE headquarters and then delivered the canisters of sleeping gas to the laboratory.

“So this guy had the formula and instructions in his pocket? Are they hiring complete idiots at THRUSH now, or just lazy ones?” Dr. Whittaker laughed as he took the items from Illya, “Oh wait, that question might answer itself. I will, of course, analyze the sample to confirm, but if THRUSH is going to make our job this easy, I might fall asleep from sheer boredom without help from their chemicals.”

“I’m sure we won’t be this lucky next time out,” Napoleon said.

“Not unless THRUSH decides to change their name to Subjugation and Lies Of the Technological Hierarchy,” Illya replied, deadpan.

Napoleon started laughing and didn’t stop even when Dr. Whittaker looked puzzled and followed them to the door, watching them walk down the hall and enter the elevator.

**Author's Note:**

> S.L.O.T.H.


End file.
